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How to be Mary in a Martha World


Among Eastern European Jews in the early 1900s, the world of sacred and scholarly learning belonged only to men. In the movie Yentl, a young, unmarried woman, played by Barbara Streisand, has such an insatiable appetite for learning and sacred wisdom that she leaves home, changes her name, masquerades as an older boy, and gets accepted into a Talmudic academy.

In a scene early in the movie, over a game of chess, Yentl tells her father she envies students of the Talmud. They discuss life and the mysteries of the universe while, Yentl says, “I’m learning to tell a herring from a carp!”

Yentl’s father tells her that men and women have different obligations “and don’t ask why,” but he finally gives in to Yentl’s requests for another study session. Yentl is happy as she gets a large book from a well-stocked bookshelf. The father tells her to close the shutters.

As she’s doing this she asks, “If you don’t have to hide studying from God, then why from the neighbors?”

“Why? Because I trust God will understand. I’m not so sure about the neighbors.”

I think if Jesus had been around in Yentl’s time, he not only would have welcomed her learning from him, he also would have welcomed her becoming a Rabbi herself.

In our passage for today from Luke 10:38-42, we are going to meet a young woman very much like Yentl, and her sister who was still following the old ways. Listen for God’s word to you from the Gospel of Luke… 

Now as they went on their way, he entered a certain village, where a woman named Martha welcomed him into her home. She had a sister named Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet and listened to what he was saying. But Martha was distracted by her many tasks; so she came to him and asked, “Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to do all the work by myself? Tell her then to help me.” But the Lord answered her, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and distracted by many things; there is need of only one thing. Mary has chosen the better part, which will not be taken away from her.”

This is a family that apparently Jesus knew well. It consisted of a brother (Lazarus) and two sisters (Martha and Mary). On another occasion, Jesus raised Lazarus from the dead (John 11). Apparently, Martha was always the one serving (John 12:2). Perhaps it was her gift. Or maybe she was just the older sister and was used to taking on this responsibility. We don’t know. But two out of three of the times we see Martha in the Gospels, she is serving. Mary was the opposite. She was more contemplative, and she enjoyed listening to Jesus and learning from him.

Luke shows a stronger interest in women than any of the other Gospel writers. And in Mary, Luke shows us a woman sitting at Jesus’ feet and learning from him just like his male disciples. This is, of course, remarkable in Jesus’ world, where the women would sit separate from the men in the synagogue. Contrary to the usual Rabbinic pattern, Jesus had both male and female disciples. The fact that Jesus received women as his disciples means that he was also willing to have women teach in his name. That was the only reason anyone would sit at the feet of a Rabbi in Jesus’ day. The only reason one would do that would be for the purpose of becoming a Rabbi oneself.

By sitting at Jesus’ feet and learning from him, Mary was moving into a whole new world. And it is quite possible that Mary’s sister Martha was resentful of this. Martha was still clinging to old world values, where a woman’s place was in the kitchen.

Now, some people say this story is about achieving balance in life between contemplation and activity. And it is true, there are people who lean more to the contemplative side of life. And there are those who lean more to the active side. And we do need a balance between those two extremes. But this story is not about valuing one more than the other. Timing is key in this story. Remember, Jesus is on his way to Jerusalem. He is on his way to the cross. With little time to spare, the important thing, Jesus says, is not to be preparing an elaborate meal for him. No, the important thing, the one thing needful, is to sit at his feet and learn from him, so that his disciples can, in turn, take his message to the world.

So, I think Jesus’ message for all of us, is that we need to strive to be more like Mary in a Martha kind of world, a world where it is all too easy to get distracted and worried.

So how do we do it? Mary sets a very simple and straightforward example for all of us. There are three things that Mary did that we can all do, maybe not all the time, but at least for a little bit of time every day.

Mary chose.

First, Mary chose, she made a very deliberate choice. And Jesus said that she chose the better part. As the old saying goes, “The good is sometimes the enemy of the best.” Mary chose the very best thing to do at that moment. She put first things first.

There is a universal principle involved here that C. S. Lewis illustrates in this way…

The woman who makes a dog the centre of her life loses, in the end, not only her human usefulness and dignity but even the proper pleasure of dog-keeping. The man who makes alcohol his chief good loses not only his job but his palate and all power of enjoying the earlier (and only pleasurable) levels of intoxication. It is a glorious thing to feel for a moment or two that the whole meaning of the universe is summed up in one woman — glorious so long as other duties and pleasures keep tearing you away from her. But clear the decks and so arrange your life (it is sometimes feasible) that you will have nothing to do but contemplate her, and what happens? Of course this law has been discovered before, but it will stand re-discovery. It may be stated as follows: every preference of a small good to a great, or partial good to a total good, involves the loss of the small or partial good for which the sacrifice is made.

Apparently the world is made that way… You can’t get second things by putting them first; you can get second things only by putting first things first.[1]

Jesus summarized this same principle when he said, “But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” (Matthew 6:33)

That’s what Mary did. She made a deliberate choice to put the kingdom of God first in her life. And having done so, I imagine that everything else in Mary’s life fell into its rightful place.

Mary sat.

The second thing Mary did was to sit. Now that may seem like a very simple act. But I think many people in today’s world suffer from not taking enough time, or any time at all, to be still. To cultivate the ability to be still and happy, alone in one’s own room, is a great thing. 

C. S. Lewis says that if you want to avoid God, “Avoid silence, avoid solitude, avoid any train of thought that leads off the beaten track. Concentrate on money, sex, status, health and (above all) on your own grievances. Keep the radio on. Live in a crowd. Use plenty of sedation. If you must read books, select them very carefully. But you’d be safer to stick to the papers. You’ll find the advertisements helpful; especially those with a sexy or a snobbish appeal.”[2]

In another place, Lewis writes: “We live, in fact, in a world starved for solitude, silence, and privacy, and therefore starved for meditation and true friendship.”[3]

Busyness is a great temptation in our time. Don’t get me wrong. It is good to be busy about the right things. But Martha was busy about the wrong thing at the wrong time.

Unfortunately, we are training a whole generation of people to be busy all the time. Most parents that I meet are exhausting themselves trying to keep their children constantly busy. I think this tendency is motivated by fear. But I am not sure what parents are afraid of. What are they afraid will happen if their children are left alone for some period of time with nothing to do? Has it ever occurred to some parents that their children might, in that space of solitude, discover creativity, or themselves, or God?

Jean Fleming, in an article entitled “How Busy Is Too Busy?” writes,

We need to scrutinize the rush of our activities, because even venerable exertions may be keeping us from becoming and doing what God wants. A packed schedule may be detrimental not only to ourselves, but to those we seek to help. A few years ago our neighbors were drawn to us, but when we talked to them about the Lord, their response was, “We couldn’t be Christians; we couldn’t live at your pace.” They had been attracted to Christ, but the busyness of our lives had scared them from a commitment.[4]
Haddon Robinson once entitled a sermon on this text, “Don’t Just Do Something, Sit There”. I think that’s great advice. Perhaps if we stopped doing and just sat more often, we might actually accomplish more and better things in life.

Mary listened.

The third thing that Mary did is that she listened. Specifically, she listened to Jesus.

A Native American and his friend were walking through Times Square in midtown New York during lunch hour. The streets were filled with people. Cars were honking their horns, taxicabs were squealing around corners, sirens were wailing, and the sounds of the city were almost deafening. Suddenly, the Native American said, “I hear a cricket.”

His friend said, “What? You must be crazy. You couldn’t possibly hear a cricket in all this noise!”
“No, I’m sure of it,” the Native American said, “I hear a cricket.”

“That’s crazy,” his friend insisted.

The Native American listened carefully for a moment and then walked across the street to a big cement planter filled with shrubs. He looked under the branches and, sure enough, he found a small cricket. His friend was utterly amazed.

“That’s incredible,” his friend said. “You must have superhuman ears!”

“No,” the Native American said. “My ears are no different from yours. It all depends on what you’re listening for.”

“But that can’t be!” said the friend. “I could never hear a cricket in this noise.”

“Yes, that’s true,” came the reply. “It depends on what is really important to you. Here, let me show you.”

He reached into his pocket, pulled out a few coins, and discreetly dropped them on the sidewalk. Then, with the noise of the crowded street still blaring in their ears, they noticed every head within twenty feet turn and look to see if the money that had tinkled on the pavement was theirs.

“See what I mean?” asked the Native American. “It all depends on what’s important to you.”[5]

I wonder: what is most important to you? What is most important to me? Do we have ears to hear what Jesus would say to us today?

Again, the obstacle to real listening in today’s world is that there is so much noise, so much distraction. The Greek word used of Martha means that she was pulled or dragged away. “The implication is that Martha wished to hear Jesus but was prevented from doing so by the pressure of providing hospitality.”[6]

In Lewis’ time, radio was the distraction. During my formative years, television was the great distraction. Now the distraction is the internet. Some people, through their phones and other devices seem to be plugged in 24/7. So, perhaps, if we are to plug in and listen to Jesus, we have to first unplug from the world, or re-purpose our devices to focus on Jesus for at least a few minutes each day.

By re-purposing, here is what I mean… I have four apps on my phone that I use to help me focus on listening to Jesus every day. The one I use most often is called “Pray as You Go”. Another one I use almost as often is called “Sacred Space”. Two others I have used from time to time are the electronic Book of Common Prayer and Centering Prayer. There are many apps like these that can be used for spiritual meditation. But of course, the key is: you have to use them.

So here is my challenge to all of you… if you haven’t already done so, choose a time during the day when you will sit for anywhere from 5 to 15 minutes to read something from the Gospels, to listen to Jesus, every day, and pray. “Pray as You Go” provides a guided meditation, usually on a Gospel passage, along with music. It takes anywhere from 10 to 15 minutes per day, no more. I find it is a great tool, especially for people who find their minds wandering whenever they try to pray.

Choose. Sit. Listen. That’s how to be Mary in a Martha world.




[1]C.S. Lewis, “First and Second Things,” God in the Dock (Grand Rapids, MI: William B. Eerdmans Publishing Co., 1970), pp. 278-280.
[2]C. S. Lewis, Christian Reflections, London: Geoffrey Bles, 1967, pp. 168-169.
[3]C. S. Lewis, The Weight of Glory, New York: Macmillan, 1980, p. 107.
[4]Jean Fleming, “How Busy Is Too Busy?” in Decision (March 1988). Christianity Today, Vol. 32, no. 7.
[6]I. Howard Marshall, Commentary on Luke, Grand Rapids: Eerdmans, 1986, p. 452.

Comments

Thanks for sharing this post. It is the first time I have read your work. A great reminder to prioritize and take the time necessary to focus on what is really important.

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